Being single; status, condition, or sentence?
I am single. This simple sentence probably doesn’t sound so unbelievable, especially because I am so young but to me that fact makes this situation incomprehensible is that I have ALWAYS been single. Most days I feel like I am the only somebody without out somebody. *Queue the violins* Maybe this status wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t feel like the last single girl alive but relationships are like the swine flu, it’s everywhere! I see it on a daily basis whether it’s in my world of movies, addicting dramatic television shows or my real life experiences, everyone has someone. The entire concept of being in a relationship is foreign to me and kind of like appreciating a photograph of a historic land mark. Looking at the picture, it looks beautiful but I’ve never been there. After my many failed attempts at “relationships”, if you can even call it that, I have tried to determine whether or not it would be better to accept the fact that I may never be in one or should I want to believe that I am young and “the guy” is out there.
The things most single people think but won’t say, I’m about to say it…
I have always been the friend that my other friends come to when they need someone to talk to. I absolutely love being that person. I pride myself on being loyal, trustworthy, honest and compassionate but not afraid to tell it like it is sort of person. Knowing that I am a very open minded, caring person allows them to come to me with confidence to talk about the problems that they’re faced in their everyday lives and most of the time I can relate in all areas, except for one, the one thing I have given the most advice about, RELATIONSHIPS. I like my good friend Callie from
Grey’s Anatomy, even though I’ve never really said it to any of my friends, share the same philosophy on talking to single people about romantic relationships;
“It’s like taking a six pack to an AA meeting”. There are things about single friends that all friends who are dating, in a relationship, engaged or married friends need to remember:
1) Your single friends are the smartest friends that you have. (Hence why we’re single)
2) We also ironically have the best relationship advice.
3) When we give you harsh advice or question why you’re in a relationship in the first place, understand that we single people were not always so cynical. In fact most of may have even been in love at one point and we probably had our hearts trampled on, kicked around, picked up, dusted off, then dropped again only this time shattering it to pieces. (In case I am not being direct enough, I am speaking from personal experiences.)
4) Unrequited love is still considered a LOVE even if the outcome wasn’t a relationship; it still hurts when it doesn’t work out.
5) Stop trying to set us up if we don’t ask you to!!!
6) When we roll our eyes at how much you are bragging about your new relationship it’s because we miss the days when you were single. Misery loves company.
7) Even when we’re single by choice, it doesn’t change the fact that being alone at times is excruciating.
8) When we single people gag at your PDA and lovey- dovey pet names, secretly we wish there was someone out there in this big ass world that is strong enough to love us that much too.
9) Being single is complicated and confusing. We kind of know what we want and then we get it; we think “that’s not it…”
10) Single people hate it when their friends who’re in relationships have forgotten what it was like to be single.
My independence as a stubborn woman has been a major factor in my status. I like to do things on my own. Having them done for me makes me feel uncomfortable and it makes me feel like I am a bitch for wanting to do it the right way. I also don’t understand the concept of dating; boy meets girl, has no idea who she is but asks her to spend two to four hours with him while they exchange only the most impressive and interesting parts of each other’s lives, leading the other person to believe that they are in fact perfect, all the while they continue to hide the real truth. This continues for a couple of weeks until all of the sudden, reality hits and the couple first learn who the other person is and they either A) decide that other person is no longer worth their time, or they B) decide to start this sadistic routine all over again but getting to know the “real you” this time. Yeah, sign me up for that?
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