Mpagggma

Fall in love with someone this weekend

Music to fall in love to

Due to the fact that my mom and sisters raised to be open minded about all things including music, I have a very wide range of music that I listen to, a fact that I have in common with my hetero- life mate, Jerica. Last night we sat up until about 2am last night making a monster playlist of songs filled with music that makes you want to do nothing but fall in love.

Disclaimer Warning: Though Jerica and I do hope that you enjoy the musical collection that we’ve put together, neither one of us will be responsible for any children conceived while listening to this playlist. Please enjoy.

There Goes My Hero...

There is no such thing as an ordinary hero

I live my life surrounded by heroes. Living literally feet away from a military town in the time of war has impacted me more than I realized, especially knowing that one of the parents of the children that I keep is currently enlisted in the army leaving sooner than we all thought to serve his third tour in Iraq. The thought of knowing that people that I know and love will be in the line of duty has always been a scary thought but knowing that the father of the children I spend my days with is walking straight into uncertain and very dangerous grounds scares the shit out of me. My heartbreaks as I think about how the oldest child is at the age where she’s old enough to ask “Where’s Daddy?” My fear and heartache is only a small fraction of the agony that his wife is going through. Over the past year, this family has become my family and it is needless to say that my heart is a little heavy. It is a given that my thoughts and prays will be with my other Holm family but it is with great pride that I dedicate my devotion and compassion until my other family is back together. My heart goes out to my hero.

Being single; status, condition, or sentence?

I am single.  This simple sentence probably doesn’t sound so unbelievable, especially because I am so young but to me that fact makes this situation incomprehensible is that I have ALWAYS been single.  Most days I feel like I am the only somebody without out somebody. *Queue the violins*  Maybe this status wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t feel like the last single girl alive but relationships are like the swine flu, it’s everywhere!  I see it on a daily basis whether it’s in my world of movies, addicting dramatic television shows or my real life experiences, everyone has someone. The entire concept of being in a relationship is foreign to me and kind of like appreciating a photograph of a historic land mark.  Looking at the picture, it looks beautiful but I’ve never been there.  After my many failed attempts at “relationships”, if you can even call it that, I have tried to determine whether or not it would be better to accept the fact that I may never be in one or should I want to believe that I am young and “the guy” is out there.

So this is what I know...

Well, here by popular demand, yeah that’s right! Your prayers have been answered! Dani has a blog. Those who don’t know me yet, don’t worry you’re not alone. The people who’re acquainted with me don’t even really know me. The reason I know this to be true, I don’t even know me. For that reason I figure I have three choices; backpack through Europe, therapy, or blog… I haven’t completely out ruled the first two but blogging is all I can afford at the moment! J So I have decided to introduce myself to the world as I figure out who I am. I can only write what I know so let’s start with the basics…

My name is Danielle but everyone calls me Dani, (NOT DANNY and yes there is a difference) I am a 22 year old single, African American female who’s trying to figure out this thing called life all the while trying to keep my feet on the ground. I work and go to school full time and with my friends being scattered to the winds, I have little to no “personal life”. Even though my life at this point is consumed by my relationships, as you read, I am in fact single. I have been my whole life. I have never really been in a serious romantic relationship, not even one of those little one’s in middle school ones that start with that ever popular simplistic note “I like you, do you like me? Circle yes or no.” I guess a large part of that was my fault looking back. I was always that girl that circled “or”. Since I currently lack that part of life, I live my love life vicariously through the lives of my loved ones.

My family is very loud and very crazy but in the best way...

My oldest sister Kym is a “smart ass”. She has become one of my best friends since I moved in with my father (you’ll hear enough about him) and I am convinced that she is in fact Superwoman. She is married to Frank “The Big One” Barney. Seeing how Frank has been around my whole life, and he and I are really close, I’ve never really looked at him as an in-law; he’s always been my older brother but not in a “hill billy, red neck kind, “I-married-my-sister, next on Maury of way. We share the same interest in cheesy movies, music, and sports. I have another older sister Chanel who lives with my mom for the time being in the same town I went to high school. Last but most certainly not least, there is Mom. As turns out the super hero thing is genetic. My mom is by far one of my favorite people in the world. She’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. I call her “Storm”, not because she is my superhero or because she has shiny, silver- grey hair, but because she literally shocks shit. She fried one of my Mp3 players with one touch. She can’t wear wrist watches because they die as soon as she puts them on. Every time we go to the gas station, I fear for my life but her ability fails in comparison to the person that she is. The undying love that she has for me and my sisters is her most powerful strength.

My sisters procreated, one a lot more than the other

Nine years ago, my older sister Chanel was the first of my sisters to add to the over populated United States, bringing my nephew Ramon into the world. My oldest sister Kym has four kids, two boys (Jaiden, 8 and Jordan 6,) and two girls(Kyra 8, and Kaelyn, 4). All five kids live with Kym and her husband Frank. In case you aren’t keeping tabs, my sister and her husband are responsible for the wellbeing of a small African village. THERE ARE SEVEN PEOPLE LIVING IN THAT HOUSE!! Their home is also the place where all the holidays and birthdays take place. Needless to say, I am no stranger to loud and quite often weird noises that fill that house on a daily basis. Because the Barney house is so close to the house where I work, it is also my hideaway when I need to get away from my roommate (Dad) for a little while.

They call me “the baby whisperer”…

Due to the fact that my friends are in school and scattered to the winds, my nieces and nephews are the people I hang out with most weekends. You may find this odd but to be perfectly honest, they are five of the coolest people I know. Not to mention the fact that I am the greatest aunt that ever lived.

I work full time as a nanny for my second family, for now we’ll call them my other Holm-family. It would be an understatement for me to say that I am absolutely in love the children I keep. Many people cannot fathom for the life of them why I love my job so much, not understanding that 1) I have a gift with children, a fact that I’ve heard my whole life but never really believed it until I started this job and 2) When you’re work day ends with “I’ll miss you, I love you, Have a really good day”, what is there not to love?

With friends like these, who needs men?

Growing up unfortunately means realizing that the older you get, the fewer “real friends” you have on your buddy list. Finding one person who can bear witness to the worst parts of your life and still love you at the end of the day is virtually impossible to find. Luckily for me, I have two! Telly and Jeri have seen me through everything. Even though both are very strong, smart, and driven women, they are also very different. Shontel and I have been close friends since my sophomore year of high school which is funny because neither of us liked each other initially. I met Jerica at the end of my eighth grade year. She followed me around at band practice one day and that was all she wrote! The rest I guess you can say goes down in history but you will read plenty about the two of them, the ones who’ve held my hand through the scariest parts of my life are the only two people outside of my family who’ve seen me at my worst, can call me out on my b.s., drop kick me in the ass when need be, and pick me up, dusted me off and pushed me back out into the world. They are my soul mates.